#1. Erotica becoming mainstream changes teen sexual expectations. I took a cultures class in college 20 years ago in which I read “Intimate Matters” and “Sex in the World’s Religions.” At that time, erotica was practiced by only 2% of the US population, “69” was the most requested erotic act of frat boys in college, and 55% of high school teens had sex. Today, Harvard University recognized a new club for students interested in kinky sex. I don’t like misinformation, so here’s the release to read for yourself right now:
CAMBRIDGE, Mass., Dec. 1 (UPI) — Harvard University said its
recognition of a new club for students who are interested in kinky sex doesn’t
mean the Ivy League school endorses such practices.
Harvard this week approved Harvard College Munch, a low-profile
adults-only group that will be allowed to use university meeting rooms and post
notices on campus.
School spokesman Jeff Neal told CNN the club went through normal
approval channels and, like any of the other approximately 400 student groups
on campus, is not officially endorsed or condemned by the administration.
“Applications for recognition are decided by a
student-faculty committee following the review of a committee composed of
students and administrators,” Neal said.
CNN said The Harvard Crimson got hold of the founder of Harvard
College Munch who told them the club had about 30 members seeking to learn
about and discuss various alternative sexualities.
Another member told the newspaper the club had strict rules about
abusive behavior and would help victims of any abuse find assistance.
#2. I like to face reality and then, if I don’t like where I think it is heading, I want to do something about it. Well, I want to do something about teen sexual expectations, part of the reason why I wrote the Starlet Series coming of age romance novels.
First, I want to discuss the teenaged mind. National Geographic had a great survey of the scientific evidence that the teen mind is wired differently from the adult brain, Beautiful
Brains. Teens seek risk. Their minds truly do not register danger because of their brain’s
blend of hormones and chemicals. It’s biological for teens to be curious and explore and helps them become successful adults.
Currently, teens watch R-rated movies littered with casual sex and read Fifty Shades. For example, “People’s Most Beautiful Man” played the stripper “Magic Mike” which included a three-some lesbian/erotic scene as well as plenty of casual drug and sex scenes. (All of my friends’ teens have seen Magic Mike.) Teens go to college. They join frats and sororities. They have sex. They fall deeply in love. Physically, the young men ejaculate before the young woman reaches orgasm given their biological reaction to intercourse.
Second, I want to speculate on what casual, erotic sex in which the guy has pleasure but the girl doesn’t will do to self-esteem for both young adults. My friends who divorced their husbands when they were in their twenties did so because of a lousy sex life. Several women I know never had an orgasm. Their ex-husbands didn’t know what to do. Perhaps erotica will help women seek pleasure? Perhaps it will subjugate women? Perhaps it will confuse men? I don’t know. But I do know that casual sex does not develop intimacy between young lovers. A committed relationship of mutual respect leads to a woman reaching orgasm.
#3. What worries me? I’m a liberal, spiritual, educated mother of an 8-year-old girl and 6-year-old boy. I want them to have fulfilled lives. Rather than shy away from sex talk with them when they are of age, I will have honest, supportive conversations. Those conversations will include my disgust for disrespect in bed.
I wrote my book series for both of them to read when they are older so they can see that they make a choice about whom they love and they can choose to stay married, if they choose to marry. I also know that unequal sexual expectations for pleasure and the meddling from others have a lot to do with why most of my friends’ relationships failed.
I have a great marriage, filled with respect that provides great intimacy for both. I’m so happy. I hope my kids when they reach adulthood will live a long, happy life, too—full of love and pleasure.